Where did you get a picture of my penis
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
