Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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