I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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