we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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