Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
