He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
