That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
