kristin has been a bad kristin
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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