He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
