You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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