We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
