How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
