you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
