Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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