Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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