I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
only you would photoshop your dick
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
