If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
