Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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