He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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