You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
