matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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