I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
