we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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