we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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