so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
