I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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