If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Plan B is the new Plan A
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
