Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
