Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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