; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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