guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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