butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
