u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
