Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
