my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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