I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
