3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
