I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
