Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
