it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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