I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
