someone threw a dead crab at me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
