There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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