dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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