My nipple is on Facebook.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
