Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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