He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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