I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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