I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
