Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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