I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
